Everyone's got secrets coming out. Good guys were bad. Some bad guys are good. Some bad guys are worse. Truth isn't what you expected. Truth isn't what you wanted. Think I'd be better off not knowing it.
My turn now. Here are my dirty little secrets. Shoplifted a few times. A little underaged drinking. Some forged signatures. Speeding. Lied too. Some weren't even white lies. Made out with one guy while going out with another. Wallet guy, actually. Said some cruel things.
Did I leave anything out? Nothing important, I'm sure. There is nothing important. No skeletons in my closet.
Wish I had some. Then I could just say I want to be a better person. Worse you are, the more support you get, right? And you have a goal too. Become better people. Not like me. Just getting through the days, hoping something will magically get better. Knowing it won't.
But at least I'm not in danger of death. I stay alive. Part of the deal. If I'm in danger, He'll help me out. Still can't be reckless. Somebody else might get killed. Wouldn't want that. That's why I don't want to be arrested. Cops would be doing their job, and then He'd kill them so I could get out. Maybe. Haven't tested it yet. Don't plan to.
Maybe you could count that as my crime. He killed people I loved since I didn't join Him fast enough. And He killed the lying man on the other side of the glass. Didn't do exactly what He wanted me to do. People died. Murder by omission? Sounds about right. See, I am one of you. A killer. Show me the secret handshakes.
Sorry. Maybe some of you aren't killers. Just disturbing how many are and get forgiven anyway.
Need to end this. Guy is watching me.
I almost feel like you slapped me with this post. Which is a bit refreshing, actually. I have mentioned I am not a good guy. I don't expect to be forgiven, though I can't speak for the others.
ReplyDeleteYou though, you are amazing. You do what all of us former villains try to without even thinking about it. Perhaps you've made mistakes. But you are good. It comes to you naturally.
It's unfortunate you're in this mess. That people die around you. It's tragic. I wish I could help you.
And I'm sorry that I have killed. That there are more of us who have killed than there should be.
We have let you down.
...I can understand why you're bitter, I really can. I don't blame you. You're in a bad situation.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to believe in second chances. I have to. Because otherwise there's nothing left for me.
... You don't want to have any revelations.
ReplyDeleteBecause all that means is that you're not half the person you said you were
half the person you want to be.
... heh. That's in bad taste, I think. I'm sorry, Atalanta. You deserve much, much better support than this old empty shell. Uhg, I need a drink.
Maybe I should delete this one too. Made people feel bad. But I'm sick of this. Trying to stay on everyone's good side.
ReplyDeleteJust going to be honest now. Undeleted that other one. Still saved on my computer.