Monday, August 15, 2011

Tentatively Good Mood

You've already seen where I was yesterday. Or maybe your blog following priorities are messed up. I mainly slept all day, but it was in a bed. With a pillow and everything. Would it be pathetic to say that's the highlight of my year so far? Because it was. Not just the bed, but the shower, too.

And the company, of course. Haven't been able to really speak to anybody about any of this. Have to lie to everyone who talks to me. Don't want to get anyone involved who isn't. Haven't run into anybody who is involved. Even if I did, I'd avoid them. They might misunderstand my situation. But yesterday, I got to speak to people who understand. At least in part. And I feel better for it.

But he hasn't put up what happened last night. That's what worries me. Why it's tentative. I wasn't hurt or dirty this morning. So it might not have been too bad. But Messi knows. Maybe Poe. Soon we all will. Have to find a new subtitle.

If it's really bad, I won't blame you for being disgusted at me. If He uses me to strangle kittens or something, I'll be disgusted too.

I'm afraid to know. I need to. But it scares me.


  1. It's always better to know, Atalanta. I'm glad you will, soon.

  2. Working on writing it up at this very moment. I'm sorry, I...needed a bit of time. For my sake, not for yours,'ll see soon enough.

    -Don't Shoot The Messenger-

  3. Atalanta- lovely symbolism in your chosen name.

    I don't know how particularly I found your blog, but I'm here and I'd like to tell you that I admire you for staying strong through all of this. You've also given me insight into my own situation- a friend of mine is under His control too, and I've been really wondering what goes through said friend's head. Maybe by reading your thoughts, I'll be able to connect with my friend again.

    I don't know if I can help you at all, because all I can do is listen. I'm not directly involved in anything and I'm still a newborn to this world. But I'm good at listening. So if you ever need someone who spends her spare time sorting out the rest of the world's problems, come find me. =) I'm always around with an open ear.

    Best of luck- enjoy what you have in spite of Him.